In bad taste, sure, but Rush likes things that way!
Jokes
Q: What is fifteen inches long and hangs in front of an asshole?
A: Rush Limbaugh's tie
Q: What is the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg?
A:One is a flaming fascist gasbag full of hot air, and the other is a dirigible
Q: How many Rush fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None. Rush hasn't shown them how to do it yet!
Did you hear Rush Limbaugh has introduced a line of cheese-flavored cold-cuts?
It's called ``Limbaugher''. It's all baloney, but it smells
like shit.
Tired of liberals making jokes about his weight (``people of
mass'', ``the all-you-can-eat challenged''), and making no
progress using the Reagan all-ketchup diet nor using the
Gingrich school-lunch diet (though the Quayle potatoe diet
looked promising for a while...), Rush Limbaugh decided to try
liposuction....
...His head imploded.
This great new car stereo came out that had voice recognition for radio station selection. You just had to say the type of music you wanted to listen to, and the radio would switch automatically. I bought it and was driving around town.
"Rock" I said, and the the radio switched to the local rock station.
"Jazz" I said, and sweet jazz melodies filled the car
All was cool, until some guy with a semi swerved in front of me.
"Asshole!!!" I yelled
....the radio switched to Rush Limbaugh
This guy was at a party, and started a conversation with an intelligent looking fellow. They got to talking, and the smart-looking guy confessed that he had an IQ of 180, but was being driven crazy by all the stupidity in the world, and he wished more than anything that he had a normal IQ.
The guy he was talking to said he was a doctor, and had a machine which could lower one's IQ. The smart guy made an appointment to have his IQ lowered.
The next day, the doc has him wired up to the machine, and starts the process. Halfway through, Doc's secretary comes in and her and the Doc get into an argument, and the doctor forgets about his patient, until, in horror, he looks over and sees the machine is reading an IQ of 37. Hurredly he turns it off and unhooks our former genius.
Nervously, the doctor asks "how do you feel..can you say something?"
"Mega-Dittos...I'm a first-time caller!"
Rush Limbaugh and his chauffeur were out driving in the country and
accidentally hit and killed a pig that had wandered out on a country road.
Limbaugh told the chauffeur to drive up to the farm and apologize to the
farmer.
They drove up to the farm, the chauffeur got out and knocked on the front
door and was let in. He was in there for what seemed hours. When he came
out, Limbaugh was confused about why his employee had been there so long.
"Well, first the farmer shook my hand, then he offered me a beer, then his
wife brought me some cookies, and his daughter showered me with kisses,"
explained the driver.
"What did you tell the farmer?" Limbaugh asked.
The chauffeur replied, "I told him that I was Rush Limbaugh's driver and
I'd just killed the pig."