MacPravda back issue...you are permitted to read the current issue.
Users Commanded to Think Different
Central News Service, Cupertino, People's Republic of Apple
Chairman Jobs ushered in a glorious new public morale campaign today, commanding users throughout the Motherland to "think different." Specific instructions on exactly how to think different are being promulgated from the Central Committee for Marketing today as part of the 3rd Five-Year Plan to return Apple to profitability. Readers are instructed to report to their Authorized Apple Dealer to receive specific details on which Different Thought they have been assigned.
Chairman Jobs Marks One Month Anniversary of Great Patriotic War Against Clone Imperialists
Central News Service, Cupertino, People's Republic of Apple
Chairman Jobs today marked the one month anniversary of Apple's spectacular defeat of the parasitic clones, who were intent on invading the Motherland's sacred high-end profit margins. Chairman Jobs remarked as followed:
"My friends, each of you today is a single cell in the great body of the User Base. And today, that great body has purged itself of parasites. We have triumphed over the unprincipled dissemination of clones. The thugs and wreckers have been cast out. And the poisonous weeds of disinformation have been consigned to the dustbin of history. Let each and every user rejoice! For today we celebrate the first glorious month of the Information Purification Directive! We have created, for the first time in all history, a garden of pure Apple-branded ideology, where each user may bloom secure from the pests of contradictory and confusing truths. Our Unification of the Platform is a more powerful weapon than any fleet or army on Earth. With one will. One resolve. One cause. Our enemies shall sell themselves to death. And we will bury them in their own confusion. We shall prevail!"
More Apple Employees Enjoy Vacation Time
Central News Service, Cupertino, People's Republic of Apple
The Central Committee has announced today that more happy and hard-working Apple employees will enjoy additional leisure time. It was announced that workers in the Advanced Technology Group and Human Interface Group will begin an extended vacation immediately. Upon hearing this news, Apple employee spontaneously broke into song praising the wisdom of Chairman Jobs and promising to work harder on the 5-year plan to Return to Profitability.
Happy Users Wait for Glorious Products
Central News Service, Cupertino, People's Republic of Apple
An outbreak of goodwill has spread throughout the collective Apple User Community upon hearing of the latest news on the popular Power Macintosh 9600/350. Workers have been producing so many of these machines that warehouses are full and demand has been satiated. Because of this, Chairman Jobs has decreed that no more of these machines will be produced, and they have been removed from the price list.